Dating / Flirting

All the communication components already described are also applicable for making a sexual / romantic connection!

An additional aspect, however, plays a critical role in this kind of communication.

Men and women communicate differently!

The characteristics of that typify these differences are, of course, not applicable to all men or women, but they are generally valid and can be explained to a large extent in the context of evolution.


Most men communicate primarily with words. They tend to mean what they say and seldom incorporate a hidden subtext in what they are saying.

This is not to say that they are always truthful by any means!

Men usually try to speak with women in the same way that they speak with men. This is usually a mistake.

Men are also often unaware that the words they are speaking are often contradicted by their body language and vocal tone. For example, a man wishing to communicate self-confidence might be betrayed by body language that communicates nervousness or insecurity.

A woman’s reaction to what he says is often very puzzling to him.


In contrast with men, most women employ words as only one channel of communication – and channel might be the least informative!

Women tend to be far more aware of and sensitive to body language and vocal tone. They employ these channels instinctively and learn to read these channels when speaking with women.

Women may often SAY one thing but MEAN another. Among women, this is perfectly natural.

Men can find this frustrating, because, as they see it, a woman seem willing to “misinterpret” a man’s intended message. They are also puzzled when a woman’s behavior or reactions seem to conflict with the words they have spoken.

Since most women expect men to be able to “read” them, they get frustrated when a man “doesn’t get the message” and might interpret a man’s response as intending disrespect or willful disinterest. They often look for a “real message” that is not there!